25 random things

1. I've cleaned, fried, and eaten a rattlesnake.
2. I read paperbacks in the shower.
3. While bicycling from NM to NY, I had a naked face-off with a racoon. It won, taking all my food.
4. My baby daughter will smile and stare at you until you giggle and pee with happiness.
5. I like to run up mountains until I fall on the ground sweating and gasping for air and water.
6. I have a darker tooth from an epic collision with a skateboarder (I was on rollerskates and bit him on the eyebrow).
7. Bad poetry makes me break out in vituperative sarcasm.
8. If there's water, I'm going to get in it.
9. Dog owners that leave steaming piles on the sidewalk are on my s**t list.
10. My wife is the Natasha to my Boris.
11. Years ago I was face to face with a damned llama, and it french-kissed me. It had beautiful fur.
12. I've gone to 14 different schools, including the once renowned "Peanut Butter & Jelly School".
13. Years ago I climbed on a Tibetan buddhist stupa, making an elderly lama so mad he hopped up and down.
14. My desert island book is the compact OED.
15. My 94-year-old grandma can make your head explode with her curses.
16. I've worked as a garlic farmer, sous chef, carpenter, liquor clerk, pizza slinger, dishwasher, apple picker, book dealer, waiter, writer, web monkey, mediator, manager, and for two days at a 7to11.
17. I took business class to Hong Kong, and would give a kidney never to travel coach again.
18. I want to get funky on the dance floor with you.
19.I 've been stomped, thrown, and tricked by horses with brains the size of grapefruits.
20. When I was very young, my family nickname was "pickle".
21. These days my heroes are scientists (Dr. Norman Borlaug anyone?).
22. I make a mean omelette and a dangerous martini.
23. At the end of a marathon poker game, I bet my pants against the house we were playing in and won with a pair of tens.
24. When I was a child I wanted to grow up and become a disco version of James Bond, replete with chrome gun and white denim jumpsuit.
25. Alas, my hairstyle has been co-opted by supercuts, and is now called "the mitch".